Edition Six — on the dream, the reality, and why I wouldn’t change it (mostly)
Before anyone knew I was writing, I was writing. Just me, my laptop, the balcony, and a story I was keeping entirely to myself. No deadlines. No marketing. No one waiting on anything. Just the quiet, unhurried joy of making something up and seeing where it went. It was genuinely one of the best experiences of my life.
I thought that’s what being an author would be. The idea was adorable.
The reality? Well, that looks quite different. Deadlines. Marketing. Content. Newsletter. Reader group. Instagram. Facebook. And today — TODAY — I am making candles for book boxes while trying to film it one handed because it’s content, right.
I burnt three fingers and gave myself a headache. The candles are lovely though.
And TikTok. Don’t even get me started on TikTok. I’m not on it yet but I know I need to be and it’s sitting there on the horizon judging me. I tried it once, hated every second, deleted it, and now I’m going back because that’s where the readers are and I will follow them absolutely anywhere, including places that make me want to lie down on the floor. This is dedication. Someone give me a medal.
The actual writing — that part where I step through an imaginary door and get to play in a world that I created, with characters who feel like my best friends, who refuse to behave and make me laugh out loud, experience a romance with a hero that not even Chris Hemsworth could match up to, and solve a mystery that keeps me on my toes right to the last page.
In this place time does something strange. The real world goes quiet. It’s just me and the story.
But that bit gets a fraction of the time I thought it would.
And here’s the thing. The thing I want to be very honest about. I love every single bit of it. Even the bits I hate — and I genuinely hate the marketing — I love that they exist because they mean the writing is real. It’s out there. People are reading it. That version of me on the balcony with her secret story had no idea what was coming and I think that was exactly right.
You have to fall in love with the dream before reality shows up with a TikTok account and a content calendar.
But if I ever get a quiet Tuesday and the balcony is free — I’m taking my laptop out there. Just to remember where it all started.
Did your dream job turn out to look nothing like the dream? I’d love to know I’m not alone. 🕯️
Because it makes us feel alive, and we love it - even the shitty social media part ;-)
I've never managed to get my dream job going. Maybe one day I'll try again.